Morning Encounter with Mamu!

While riding to the office in the morning, the cop at Hinjewadi chowk politely gestured me to take my bike aside. I obliged without any second thoughts. For the first time, my heart didn’t pound as it used to on my encounter with cops, the reason- I had all my documents in place. He then asked for my license. I pulled out my wallet and showed him my license which he scanned and asked me for the originals. I said, “Sir, ye original hi hai”. He checked it again to his satisfaction.

He then said that my number plate is not as per the standard and it should have been on a white background. I currently have a silver fibre number plate with letters written in plain bold font. Hmm… So this time it wasn’t the documents that the cop was checking for. He then said, “Iski parchi kategi”. I humbly said that I wasn’t aware of such kind of rule. I requested him to issue me a warning instead but in vain. He said Rs. 100 fine was mandatory. Hmm.. not much but this wasn’t that big an issue. Besides the letters on my number plate were in bold and quite legible. It was then that I decided to use my convincing skills. I politely said, “Sir, I commute through this road every day. You may very well get hold of me again tomorrow if I don’t change my number plate. So please issue me a warning and let me go.” Nope… didn’t work fully. I had utilized a Panchatantra fable of cow and tiger in real life. It had done 80% damage. For the rest 20%, I used the recession Ram-Ban - “Sir, at Rs. 100, I can get a new number plate made. And if I still don’t, you may fine me tomorrow”. It worked!! He let me go with a warning, and I left with the promise to change my number plate with the conventional one.

Issued in public interest: All those reading and having fancy number plates, please replace them soon to avoid such encounters.

Amitabh Bachchan's folly- Paa

It started with Black(Alzheimer's), Taare Zameen Par(dyslexia) and now Paa(progeosis). Why are the Bollywood directors getting so obsessed with the lesser known diseases? Some of these diseases, even a medical doctor won't know of. While Black was an intricately woven masterpiece, Taare Zameen Par was perfection redefined by Amir Khan in his directorial debut. It was each of ours childhood story retold. But Bachchan's new movie- Paa was a disaster. I felt like leaving the hall even before the interval. However, to save others from the torture, I decided to stay back and complete the movie. Everything but Bachchan's wonderful makeup and acting skills failed to appeal me. In fact, the only USP of the movie seemed to be the fact that it was AB, the same man who had played numerous Vijay's and the unforgettable Don. Paa's music directed by the famous Illayaraja seemed quite conventional and forgettable. The direction was average.

In the first half, it seemed as if the director utilized the platform to realize his childhood fantasy of showcasing the dirty world of Indian politics too, along with progeosis. The movie seemed to drift away from the purpose. The objective of the movie seemed blurred. Unlike TZP, Paa failed to gather any sympathy for the protagonist. Probably, the director got confused on whether the objective of the movie was to promote safe sex or to show Auro's plight. The movie did have some witty one-liners that managed to draw a few laughs. But the movie was miserably long and predictable. Maybe I had too high expectations for it. Who wouldn't? After all it is an AB's movie. AB is undoubtedly the greatest actors that Bollywood can ever get. But his greatness is somewhat subdued by some of his silly choices such as Alladin and RGV ki Aag. He is already a legend and must now become a bit choosy before signing a movie.

Twitter- the missing manual

What is twitter?
It is a source of interactive entertainment in which people can be the director of their own lives and others’ lives; an entrepreneur’s brilliant idea to earn money milking people’s private lives.

Why use twitter?
You have plenty of time to waste. And want the world to know every habit of yours.

Who is twitter meant for?
Twitter is meant for anyone who wants to sneak into private lives of others. It is also meant for half-wit politicians and celebrities who are men of ‘few words’ (140 characters to be exact).

What is the reason for its growing popularity?
People are bored of the ‘idiot box’ as the reality shows have grown unreal and synthetic. They are now looking for an endless source of entertainment.

Who are called twitteriorette?
These generally include half-wit celebrities who are basically people who get traffic to twitter and provide free (interactive) entertainment for all without twitter bothering its head for source of new content.

What are tweets?
Sweet as they may sound, tweets are sick one-liners powerful enough to sack ministers.

What makes twitter so popular among cattle class?
Politicians highlight cattle class on twitter. This gives them (us) a sense of existence.

Innovative Literacy campaign

A literacy campaign in India. Truly creative. An honest attempt to get people out of cattle class.

Ten months and counting: awaiting justice

Besides the economic downfall, India has been troubled by other unfortunate incidents as well. These deplorable incidents remained a part of the 'Breaking News' stories of all the major News Channels. I can instantly recall a few of them- the brutal Nithari Killings, the 27/11 terrorist attacks, the shameful mob molestation incidents, the racial abuses on the Indian students studying in Australia. At the times when these incidents were hot in the news, each of us agreed and gave our view points on what should be done to avoid such incidents or what should be the punishment meted out to the offenders. No sooner than these incidents pulled out of prime time 'Breaking News' channels than they were lost in oblivion.

Few weeks after 27/11, Kasab, the only terrorist in the world to have been caught alive, was canonized by all the leading newspapers- giving him a fixed berth in their National page. After a long debate on whether a terrorist who despite being caught live on footage- hurling bullets, should be given a chance to defend himself and treated just like any other convict, a decision from the court is still awaited.  Meanwhile the newspapers finding no development in Kasab's case resorted to publishing his eating habits, his reading habits and his day-to-day antics. Haven't we learned any lesson from IC-814 hijacking incident? Isn't it very straightforward to understand that "a terrorist in custody is worth two in ambush"? Why do we need to pamper these unwanted elements of the society? Only to wait for another IC814? The movie- 'A Wednesday' was based on the same theme. It depicted a cattle-class guy strengthening up against our helpless(and hapless) system. A system, which is troubled by the laws of the land adamant at providing equal treatment to all on human grounds (no matter how inhumane they are) and the police on the other side being accused of false encounters when they try to do some cleaning up.

The main reason for the massacre of 27/11 is considered as lack of intelligence, unavailability of hotel plans, maps and modern fighting equipment for the security forces. The old world war rifles which are still in commision were highly criticized. Ten months after the incident, we are still in the same boat. We haven't made an effort to fill up the gaping holes.  Are we waiting for the water to seep in and sink the boat? Nithari accused, Pandher has managed to go scot free(probably to commit other such henious crimes). No one knows what happened of the mob molesters. Nor do we care if our fellow brethren in Australia would ever get justice. Why do we tend to forget and carry on with our cattle life? Or have these incidents assimilated in our lives as just another daily chore? Perhaps we are more affected by Goody calling Shilpa 'Indian' and consider being called an 'Indian', a racial abuse that hurts our national pride.

The trigger

Shashi Tharoor, the Union Minister of India (as of Sept 2009), termed the economy class (read the common man) travelers as 'cattle class'. These comments though a bit derogatory, aren't of the magnitude enough to have sparked the public ire demanding sacking of the minister. But reading his comments and all the drama around them this morning while performing my daily chores inspired me to start this blog- WeTheCattleClass. Though the remark looks down upon us, the common man, who looks for the cheapest available air ticket before planning and applying for leave, it also tells the story of the common man who has outgrown the railway's second class and graduated to traveling in economy class. The same common man who is termed as middle class(which is not considered demeaning but has got into our day-to-day lingo just like another caste) is also credited for driving India's economy at full steam. All said and done, we, the cattle class, are still weak- not bold enough. A bunch of peace loving, satisfied people with only aspirations to step into the next level of hierarchy- the upper middle class- a notch above our present class. We ought to shed our image of the meek and become a bigger contributor to India's growth story.